Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
