Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Couch. On fire.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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