Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
