i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
