when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
