I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
