also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
