the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
