please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
