First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
