I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can't turn off my feet"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
