they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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