suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
