Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Never joke about your clitoris.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
