I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
