he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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