I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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