ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
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