legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
