Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
whose ass print is on the piano?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
