shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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