Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
