What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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