My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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