Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
