I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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