he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
