I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
