Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
