There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
