I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
