? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
dude. I can hear the air.
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