Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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