it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize