Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
