my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
True college students do jello shots in the library
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
