Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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