Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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