My girlfriend figured out who you are.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We are all done wearing pants today
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
