just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
