It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
