You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
