No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
