She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
