i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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