Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
