I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
