God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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