look no pants
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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