Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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