it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
