hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
